Thursday, July 7, 2011

Confess, Brutus, Awesome

I'm half way through the center on The Queen. She's got a life of her own and is going to eat Smoothie for lunch.

I was sad that Heirloom Knitting was closing. I knew I should have ordered more yarn. Then they announced that they made a hasty decision and are going to try and stay open - hooray!

 I got my Vogue Knitting magazine (early fall 2011) and was happy to see Anne featured! I ran to get my Eshaness cardigan and give her a hug. Anne is teaching Fair Isle knitting on her blog.

I confess, I learned how to knit Fair Isle through her tutorial on her old blog. I'm a visual learner. It worked for me. I can't do it two handed - my right hand is an elitist, and refuses to throw yarn. :) I hold the background color on top and the pattern color on the bottom. I use 3.25mm addis circular needles. I enjoy cutting steeks. I knit the collar and buttonhole edges before I knit the sleeves.

Wooly knew Anne before me. He called her to buy Aran yarn from her shop. He told her that The Wife (me) was going to knit him a sweater. When I got home from work, he showed me her website. "I called her, she's sending yarn so you can make me  O'Shaughnessey." I said, "You called her?! We're you nice?!" He said, "I'm always nice." I said, "Good. I might need to order some yarn too!"

That was five years ago. That's how I know her. She's awesome!
Meet Brutus. He's a beefsteak that we bought at Molbak's. He's so big and strong that he's going to eat the topsey turvey! Wooley counted 50 buds.
 So far Brutus has 4 tomatoes. We've got high hopes of awesomeness from him and are expecting a bounty of tomatoes.

Speaking of awesomeness...

My mom had her breast cancer surgery on 6/30. I went over to help her the day before and was full of anxiety. I marched through her front door, stormed into the living room and stopped dead in my tracks. Mom says, "You know Pastor Jerry (SIL's dad)..."

"Uh, yeah... WOW! Good thing I didn't say what was on my mind when I walked through the door!" and plopped myself down on the couch next to my mom with my hand on my face.

PJ says, "Why Michele? We can do confession..." and he starts giggling.

Mom says, "He's going to give me a blessing, so my surgery goes well."

I say, "Okay, good." While cursing in my mind how she never tells me who's at her house.

So, after he tells me that maybe I should knock on the door next time (duh) and we get done chatting, he pulls out his black book and holy water. He explains that he's going to read prayers from his book, then pray himself. He dabs his finger in the holy water, places it on mom's forehead and starts in.

I confess. I was thinking, "good thing he's not putting that on me. I would start smoldering. Wooly would actually turn into a ball of fire!!"

After he got done, I confess, I was surprised by how calm I felt. We chatted some more and I realized that this guy is really cool - I already knew that, and do love him, SIL is so lucky, she's cool too.

After I got done helping Mom, I went home and told Wooly about it. Still feeling really calm, like everything is going to be fine. PJ has a sneaky way of making me feel good about myself because he totally believes in me and that I'm awesome in every way. He said nice things about me - I was wondering how he knew, then told myself, "wait. I'm not THAT good! Who's he hearing this shit from?!"

Wooly said, "He's a real holy man..." and told me he experienced that when he heard Doyle Dykes in concert. He's an acoustic guitar player who told of his struggles and just made you feel like everything was going to be okay anyways. 

Just by having PJ believe in me, made me want to be better.

I was surprised that I was still calm and in a great mindset the next day. I went to work and nothing phased me. Mom got through the surgery, PJ, SIL, Mr K, Corey & Brother visited her, she stayed the night and the next day when Brother went to pick her up, she marched right out of the hospital. Brother was shocked.

I went over on Saturday with food. She wasn't even home. She was walking to the Post Office to mail a letter and stopped by store to look around. She has a mailbox in front of her house! When she got back, we had lunch. She says, "look Michele, I'm using my hand to to eat!"  She's got the drain tube that's suppose to stay in for 2 weeks or so. She's determined to get it out sooner. She's so awesome.

Power of prayer is awesome too. I told Wooly, maybe I need to go back to church. Maybe....

Or maybe I just need someone to believe in me... Maybe I need to believe in myself!!!


I ask friends all the time. "What's your passion? What do you want to do with the time you've got left? Are you doing it?"

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because of my mom, and the reality of how things can change in an instant - she's always saying that. She keeps telling me I should teach knitting. I remind her that I couldn't even teach her to knit because we ended up in a giggle-fest.

So, what I want to do is take the Nihon Vogue Knitting Class from Jean Wong and get my certificate. I want to learn how to knit garments that fit me perfectly and be able to finish professionally.

After that, I want to teach, design knitwear, or not.

I pitched it to Wooly. He wasn't supportive. He doesn't think I would like teaching, or that I need to get a certificate to learn how to knit.

I really got mad. I was surprised how mad I was - that shows some passion!

I reminded him that I supported him through his 3rd degree black belt! He's just doing it for himself! Not teaching! Like I want to do it for myself!!! Who cares if I never teach?!

I want to quit work, go do it, and totally focus.

I want to be awesome. Like Mom, PJ, Anne, Brutus and YOU.

So, now that I've told the whole universe... I'm expecting it to happen! :)

What's your dream?

5 comments:

Dorothy said...

I, for one, believe in you! Your knitting just blows me away and I think passing that on to others is a wonderful dream. I have a dream too - I've always wanted an English garden. I'm NOT a gardener, but with encouragement from a gardening friend, I have spent the last two days in backbreaking work preparing the bed. My hubby, too, is not entirely encouraging, but is helping. I say we show them what stuff we're made of!!

life ldc said...

You should do it for yourself - nobody else - with no big pressure on what you are going to do after the course.....just see where life takes you.

You are a beautiful knitter now - both in the work that you do and in the person you are!

The Nihon Vogue class could only make your knitting better.....and if that's what you want.....I say go for it!

nordwolke said...

Currently, my dream is to knit tons of lace/cobweb shawls (stoles & rectangulars). Having a passion for something is a first step into a satisfied life, I guess. It is good to think about goals now and then! But don't stress yourself.
Your questions remind me of the poem "The Summer Day". I posted a short excerpt of it accompanying my latest finished shawl.
Believing in yourself is always good as well. I try to believe in myself and in mankind (both can somtimes be difficult ;) ).
And Dorothy is right: Your knitting is so awesome! I am convinced you will achieve your passion goals!

Lorraine said...

Michele- I'm glad your Mom is on the mend.

Take the class, but more, trust your instincts. I think you are ready to teach, and sometimes other people's ideas can muddy the waters. You're alot more qualified than you think.

I had no idea about Heirloom Knitting.

Brigitte said...

Hi Michele! Well, I for one would take lessons from you! I know I'd suck at teaching, I'd be all - "no dammit, what the hell are you doing" and probably smack them on the head.

Yeah, holy water would probably smolder on me too.

I'm so glad to hear your Mom is doing well! Yay Mom!